Story:Do you want to come with us?
Do you want to come with us?
I found my Mum again today, perhaps in the strangest of circumstances, nevertheless a very humbling experience. She has been in some sort of darkness these past few troubled months (If not years) but calmness seems to be returning once more.
Passing her residential nursing home today on my way to the garden centre, something made me pause. 'I'll take Mum with me, it will break her monotany' I thought. Her having dementia has made communication extremely difficult but she was pleased to see me and welcomed the invite. Shreiking in the background was one of Mums' fellow residents Jean, who is considerably worse off than Mum. She drifts from anger to laughter instantly and often back to anger again. Most of us would choose to ignore her because we don't know how to deal with the problem.
Mum frowned as Jean loudly remonstrated as she passed us but her smile was soon restored as she rose to her feet, feeling good about the pending trip. SUDDENLY she turned to Jean!! "We are going out" she said, "do you want to come with us?"
Inthat poignant, fleeting moment I realized I had never lost my mum, not even for a second. Here was that sweet gentle lady who had taught me to be kind."There is always someone worse off than you", she used to say.
Mum is much older now and her mind bears the scars of what seems in hindsight, loneliness. Yet through all her adversity, she found time for someone else. That's the mum I always knew.....nothing has changed. She has just lost the ability to comminicate at times.
Sadly her dementia won't go away but one thing is certain. In that brief moment I learnt so much.
Should I ever face adversity in the years ahead, as at some stage in my life I surely must. I will remember that today I was taught a lesson by a kindly, caring lady and a wonderful, wonderful Mum..... I am richer and so much wiser for the experience.
Written 18th Feb. 1998.