Story:My Mother, The Stranger
My Mother, The Stranger
My mother and I have never been so close. We have never had that bond a mother and daughter should have, she has always treated me as her friend rather than her daughter, sometimes as her assistant to run her errands, pay her bills call the bank on her behalf amongst other things she require from me, as if I don't have a life of my own, my own bills to pay, my own children to take care of, not that she ever bother offering to look after them. I have always recented my relationship with my mother. You see she never raised me, my father's sister raised me. My mother left me when I was 7 months old to pursue a job in England, not a career but a job that she and my father had found and so they left me and I grew up without them. I knew of them, but did not care much whether they were my parents. So pretty much that relationship was never really there, my father and I are ok we're closer than my mother. I have always tried to get close with her, but always seem to get pushed out of the way.
I have always tried to talk to her and tell her how I feel but it always backed fired on me so I never tried again, she thinks we're ok but deep down inside of me I know we're not.
I love my mum, don't get me wrong, its just that I wish she could be proud of me and acknowledge sometimes that I am her daughter and only daughter. Even my daughter, her grand daughter, she's not close to. If she couldn't get close to me the least she could do was to get close to her grand daughter, but that is even worst.
There are so many things I need to her, but I can't, not that I can't I couldn't simply because she would criticise and judge me like she always do. I always long to have that mother daughter relationship, but from the looks of it that will never be, the only consolation is that my relationship with my own daughter is far more better than my mother and I.
There are 3 comments on this story
I think your mum feels very ashamed but she is to proud to admit it. Some people just can't say that word " sorry ". You sound like a fantastic mother and I am glad you had a dear aunt by your side. Lavish your love on your daughter.Hope you have a wonderful life, you deserve it.
I too have had a difficult relationship with my judgemental, overbearing, detached mother all my life. Everytime I talk to her, I'm left feeling angry, hurt, under-appreciated and misunderstood. The pain is ongoing and never-ending. I have now realised that many of us are denied some sort or even several sorts of love in our lives. It may be paternal, maternal, sibling, romantic, loving friends, neighbourly, and /or even the love of a child. My decision is therefore, to maximize the love that I have been blessed with....in my case...paternal, friendship and the love of a child...and quit chasing all other elusive love and validation. It's the only way how, I know to fill the hole drain the pain.
she is the one missing out not you your aunt done a very good job of bringing you up anyone can see that from you letter
Posted at 09:49 - 07.07.09 by carmelmcelligott