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What would you like to tell your daughter? What do you wish you could tell – or have told – your mother before it's too late? What do your friendships mean to you? Is there a particular friend who's brought you back from the brink?
So, please use this site to say whatever you need. You might want to share advice on how to deal with relationships; you might want to offer up a personal insight; you might simply want to tell us how much you love your mother or daughter or friend; and you might want to share words of wisdom for future generations of women.
10 years ago, at the tender age of 37 I was diagnosed with cancer - traumatic to say the least. The operation because of my age was almost immediatly, one weeks notice!!!!! My children at the time were 11 and 9 and there was so much to say to them and to prepare them for the worst - my husband who is absolutely fantastic was in a bad way and could not come to terms with the fact that I may just die!!!
As I say Lucky me - 10 years later I am still going strong and wake every day knowing that I have been more than lucky. I have seen both my children leave school and college with good gcse/a level results, have been there to comfort them through the loss of their beloved grandfather and there for when my eldest left home a month ago to live with her partner.
Every day I tell them how much I love them - the sibling rivarly between daughter and son is almost non exsistant - she is my favourite daughter and he is my favourite son - I love them both equally even though one drives me to distraction at times and the other is laid back and doing his own thing.
This book has made me realise again the strength of my love for my children - sounds like a perfect family eh? not really but I do believe that having the big c so young has taught me to value each day as if it is my last, to let the people around me know how much I love them and to be always there for the helping hand or listening ear!
My husband said to me just recently as we celebrated our silver wedding, that I was lucky - my children idolised me ( along with him) and that our lives have been blessed with two fantastic kids.
All I can say to you all out there is just keep telling them how much they mean to you and how much you love them - someone once told me that children are only loaned to you for a short while - how true! if they know you are there to encourage love and support them regardless of life they always come back.
Posted on 17.09.08 by
Anonymous
I lost my mum 16 years ago to cancer. She'd been ill for a long time, one thing after another but was so brave (I didn't realise how brave at the time), she used to talk about when she was gone and had definite ideas about her funeral and what she wanted. Like Lisa and Barbara, we used to laugh a lot at her macabre sense of humour - the one thing she used to say was she was not afraid to die and she was really looking forward to meeting up again with her own mum. I think I was in denial about how ill she was and when she did go, I sort of blocked it out. I was upset at the time but not grief stricken. Although I know she loved me, and I'm sure she knew how much I loved her, we were not a demonstrative family and I now regret so much that I did not tell her how much I loved her before she died. I now have 3 children of my own and I know she would have loved to have met them. My oldest son was born 2 years after she died and my twins (boy & girl) came along 8 years later. I wish so much that she was here to give me much needed advice/interfere - I sometimes feel so alone, even though I have my husband and all his family and they are great, but sometimes a girl needs her own mum. As the years have gone on, I miss her more and more - I definitely cry easier since I had my own kids, although always in private (she used to say I was hard hearted, she wouldn't any more). I cried & laughed whilst reading this book because I could relate so much with all the characters and I cried whilst typing this story - I have never spoken openly to anyone about how I feel, I suppose I'm most like Jennifer and keep everything to myself. Anyway, I am writing this to say I love my mum and look forward to meeting up with her again - not too soon though, my kids are only 5 and 13 and I plan to be around for a long time to make sure they are grown up and settled and, hopefully with kids of their own.
Posted on 17.09.08 by
Anonymous
My mum had been disabled with Multiple Sclerosis since i was very little, she developed the disease before me and my twin were born but the stress of birth made her so much more ill and throughout my life she deteriorated more and more become less able to move until i was 12 when she became fully paralyzed.
I always loved the way she defended me when i was little and i was bullied or told off, i loved the way she'd tell me she loved me everyday (even though i was too proud to say it back), i loved looking after her and feeding her and putting her to bed because she was my mum and she deserved it. But i never ever told her how much she meant to me, id complain and shout at her when i got stressed for caring for her, she couldnt speak back so she would just listen. Dad told me when i was 15 to expect mum to die, she had been taken to hospital after she stopped breathing, it was discussed and they agreed not to resuscitate if it happened again. I still never told mum what she meant to me, even the day she died, i couldnt find the words to do it, i ran away the moment she died because it hurt so much.
And now two and half years later i have so many regrets, i wish id never shouted and screamed at her, i wish when i tucked her into bed i told her i loved her, i wish id been a daughter she could have been proud of. She died shortly before my 16th birthday and during my gcses, when my results came all i wanted was to show her how well id done, but i know she will never know how hard i worked and she will never see my artwork or my drama. Im leaving college for university and she will never know, she will never know i passed my driving test. She will never see me have children and be the nanny she wanted to be.
Please anyone who was like me, tell your mum how much she means to you because when she goes you will never forgive yourself for keeping it from her. All mums deserve to know how special they are. Id give up anything to see my mum again just to tell her that.
Posted on 17.09.08 by
aim-snap-fall
I lost my mum just over a year ago. I was at work and got a phone call telling me my mum had been rushed into hospital and was critically ill. Later i found out she had already died when i recieved the phone call. It was a normal Friday afternoon and she had been out in the town paying the weekly bills when she passed out and had a massive heart attack. She had just turned 54 a week earlier. There had'nt been anything wrong with her, as far as we knew she was fit and healthy.
I lost three things that day, a mum, a best friend, and a part of myself. I am just glad i got married fairly young at 23 so she could share that day with me as she died less than a year later.
Me and my husband have just started trying for a baby and it petrifies me the fact that she won't be there to go through that with me and that i will have to do it without my mum.
It hurts every single day and for me it has never gotten easier. The day she died changed my life, i miss every minute of every day,
Posted on 17.09.08 by
TammyK
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